Tuesday, June 13, 2006

i hate....everything. POOP on the czech team!

By: undkatrina aka andkathleen

woe is me...ungrammatical, but apt. but not anywhere near strong enough to describe how i feel.

i had to go on an errand in the student union building on my way back from class, and there, right in front of my unbelieving eyes, was a sight i had not thought to see. two huge-screen televisions broadcasting the us-czech game. i knew there were public televisions in the building, but i also knew (or thought i knew) of the general apathy towards all things soccer, and thought i'd be safe.

wrong.

score? czech republic 1, us 0. nothing, zero, zip. nil. no score whatsoever.

since the suspense had already been removed (as i have mentioned, i am taping it), i immediatedly telephoned my friend who is also watching the match. he confirmed that yes, it was a sad, sad thing but that at least donovan had gotten off a near-goal.

i was not consoled. but could it get worse? why yes. yes it could. and it did.

while i was picking up a package (still on the phone) i happened to see a beastly shot on goal that unfortunately happened to go into the goal, and it wasn't kicked by one of our guys.

foul, foul language came out of my mouth.

now most of you know where i am, yes? one would not have anticipated that this sort of reaction (variously involving words which sounded like 'wit', 'duck' 'floody bell' and 'dastard') would provoke visible and audible hilarity amongst the other viewers (all five of them); however, since they'd also been listening to me in my telephone rant as i stood some ways behind them, and my reaction was probably exactly the one that they themselves were trying to stifle, hilarity ensued. apparently that was the sole bright spot of the match, since the us are (were) playing a CRAP game.

[hee hee, snicker snicker, she said 'fuck']... but there's still hope. the half ended, i left to go run errand #2, and i consoled myself that a brisk telling-off of the players by arena would take care of the second-half performance.

then my ex-boyfriend called, chatted about this and that, and asked me if i was taping the game. i said i was. he asked if i knew the current score. i said i did. and then i told him that i was cut off from all media communication from here on out since i had the utmost faith in the us team to launch a massive strike against the evil czech empire. and then, after a chat about his motorcycle (which his grandfather sort of ran over with his truck), we hung up.

i got back to the office, settled down to work, and got a call from the ex-b.









stupid, stupid me...i answered it.









'it's 3-0,' he said.








!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








i called him three kinds of a bastard and hung up on him. did i ever say we were friends? we are not friends.

my day? she is ruined....

RUINED!

how can that pathetic sort of play bode well for us against italy on saturday? how?? if italy plays against ghana the way i know they'll play against ghana, we are dead in the water. because italy will get three against ghana, we have nothing, and cr has three. worst (and most likely) case for saturday is that italy beats us, then has six points to our effing zero points, and then cr plays ghana and collects three more for their six points, and then we play ghana at the same time cr plays italy, and we get our three. and it doesn't fucking matter, does it? because we have three! and they! they have at least six each and both of them are advancing and we are going hoooooooooooooooooome........

i honestly want to go stick my head under a pillow and howl. i am crushed. humiliated. how can i show my face?

i thin ki'm going to cry. now i know how the poor, poor polish fans felt on friday. except they only got shut out 2-0.

i want to go get drunk.